Hurricane in Heels
— Kellie McRae

A while back, I shared a mantra I learned in the military years ago that’s been echoed by many. I had realized that the phrase I’d been indoctrinated to believe — “pain is weakness leaving the body” — is, for lack of a better word, hooey! Another nonsense phrase…

Last January, my visit to the U.S. turned into one of my longest hospital stays since my lupus diagnosis. I associate a lot of fear with that stay. Once it was under my belt, many changes lay ahead. For the first time in over a year, I was optimistic.

I research every medication I am prescribed. I have doctors explain my test results as if I am 6 years old. I ask questions and when doctors don’t answer in a way I fully understand, I rephrase and research. I weigh the benefits and risks before deciding to take…

There are days when my life feels like a Milli Vanilli song; it’s being faked, but it’s known for the part that is fake! Unfortunately, lupus is very real. There has been a lot of rain lately, and as I move through my home I realize I am hurting…

I was awake for half the night. This is not unusual, but often I am coming up with topics to write about in this column or speak about on my YouTube channel. Instead, I was traveling down memory lane to things I have tried to avoid and misconceptions I…

I am slight in build. I am a woman who is bald. I am battling lupus. I am not fragile. If you were to stop and look at me, I might look as if I could break. At the start of 2020, I weighed 99 pounds. I’m happy to report…

I often remind myself that worrying isn’t helpful, especially because stress is a lupus trigger. In my past life as a well person, I always thought I handled stress masterfully. But after being diagnosed with lupus, I notice that my biggest flares happen when I experience high stress levels.

I was hospitalized the first month of this year, and I hope it’ll be the only time this happens in 2020. After the hospital, I was sent to a rehabilitation center. It was the first time since my diagnosis that I did rehab at this level. When I was younger,…

The lupus life can feel seriously lonely. Supporters surround me, but I know they can’t understand the things I endure. Lupus can create a whole lot of problems, mentally and physically. A tiny symptom can become something serious. When serious flares strike, I fear that one of the many…

Lupus is unpredictable. If you have it, you might wake up feeling it’s a good energy day only to end up in the hospital. Now, in addition to already living a topsy-turvy life, we have a global pandemic to manage. Those of us already coping with depression and anxiety from…

When the doctor told me that I have lupus, I first thought only of the diagnosis. I had no clue that so much more would come with the knowledge that I would be fighting my body for the rest of my life. Guilt, depression, anxiety are just a few…

For those of us battling lupus, chronic fatigue is often the reason we cancel social engagements at the last minute. Some friends and family members don’t understand that our fatigue is not a normal type of tired. Sleeping for days on end is not unusual with lupus, and we…