Columns

Stop Apologizing for Things that Are Not Your Fault

Imagine that it’s a beautiful, sunny, crisp fall afternoon. You look out of your window and decide that it’s a good day to rake up the leaves. You step outside into a near perfect day, take your rake, and get to work. You’ve made a nice pile of…

My Lupus Came with Depression, and Not Just the SAD Kind

I used to think winter was the most depressing time of the year. I hated to see the leaves fall off the trees. I couldn’t wait for spring when the flowers started blooming again.  Now that I have experienced true depression, I know the difference. There is a form…

Dealing with the Snowball Effects of the Common Cold

In a previous column, I discussed how there are two polar personalities within my body. There’s the energetic, “anything is possible, never back down, and go-go-go” Kristi. Then there’s the lethargic, down-in-the-dumps version who can’t find the motivation to make herself lunch. I’m usually one or the…

I Was Blindsided by Lupus, but I Am Adjusting

I’ll always remember the day I found out I have lupus. It sticks with me like the memory of where I was the day Elvis died. It is a dividing line between the former “normal” days and my “new normal.” Everyone has different symptoms that lead them to make that…

Loved Ones Have Shared Their Fears of My Death with Me

I find it funny the things that people choose to say and the words they withhold from you. Those of us living with a chronic illness such as lupus often hear, “You don’t look sick.” What we wish they meant was, “You look really good in spite…

Sometimes, I Just Want to Throw the Fight

I’ve seen many movies in which the characters are paid or forced to lose. A conflict of conscience always arises, even when their actions are to save a loved one or the money is to salvage the family home, farm, or whatever. A true fighter doesn’t really know…

What Lupus Life Is to Me

Mid-conversation, I’m often asked questions that lead to me revealing information the other person isn’t ready to hear about. It involves an unsettling, controversial word. Actually, it’s not just a simple word, but a name: lupus. And then comes an all-important question I hear time and time again. What…

47 Minutes of Sanity

I grew up in inner city Chicago, I am a Desert Storm veteran, I reared two amazing kids all alone, and I navigated the competitive waters of real estate for almost 20 years. Now, leaving my home is a challenge. Years ago, I saw a movie about an …