Author Archives: Kellie McRae

Despite Everything I’ve Lost to Lupus, I’m Still Smiling

It’s funny what we take for granted — including the sound of our voices. For a few years, I took voice lessons and participated in community theater, often auditioning and making it with my singing voice. No, it was not Broadway, but it was fun and I truly enjoyed it.

2020 Was a Crazy Year, but It Brought Me Many Blessings

Historic and challenging events happened last year. There was never a dull moment, and if your coping skills were rusty, 2020 made you get out the polish.  I was admitted to the hospital just after the year started and was in a medical facility until…

The Problem With Forced Positivity

When my body started failing, I hopped on social media and asked if anyone had dealt with similar issues. As the mystery built, I coped by using comedy and positivity, as I often do. When the weight of…

A New Perspective on Living the Dream

Lupus stinks. I doubt I will ever change my mind about that. However, not everything about it stinks. I am learning to embrace things it has afforded me that I’d hoped for when I was a younger woman. I grew up poor, and when I think of the…

Wrapping My Head Around the Number of Meds I Take

Every morning and evening, I pull out my big bag of medications. The evenings aren’t as bad as the mornings. For the second round of the day, I take fewer meds, and I’ve had the entire day to accept that I must take them if I expect to help…

I Am Developing a Phobia of Commitments

I’ve always considered myself a reliable person. If I said I would do something, it would be done. If I said I would be somewhere, I’d likely be the first one to arrive. Punctuality is a sign of reliability. But over the years, lupus has given me a new phrase…

Figuring Out Where We All Fit In

I think it’s ironic how in so many situations, we can feel alone, as if we are the only ones who feel a certain way. Then, when we share those feelings with others, we learn we are not alone. Lupus stinks, there is no doubt about it. When I…

Am I Experiencing Karma From Past Judgmental Thoughts?

There are times in my lupus battle when I feel karma is being delivered. Every bad thought I had about someone, every judgment I made, is heaped upon me. It’s odd to remember thinking or saying things that seemed so insignificant at the time, but perhaps had a bigger ripple…