I’m an addict. Before you get the wrong idea, I should explain. My addiction isn’t to any type of illicit or prescription drug, it’s not to alcohol, and I don’t even crave caffeine. No, my vice is something else, something harder to attain. I’m addicted to control.
I don’t watch much television. I don’t know the names or faces of many celebrities. However, when I learn that a famous person is a lupus warrior, I put them on my radar. I want to support them because I know how hard I fight to have a…
Anxiety and depression seem to be tag-alongs of lupus. Before my diagnosis, I would feel sad sometimes, but I wasn’t depressed. I would allow myself a three-day pity party, before saying, “OK, enough; time for solutions.” With lupus, there are no solutions. Life as I knew it is…
I’m an all-or-nothing kind of person emotionally. If you ask how I am, you won’t ever hear me answer “all right.” I’m always good, great, or the polar opposite — in which case, I’m too “in my feelings” to reply. When studying or learning a skill, I’m either…
Before lupus hit me, I stayed insanely active. I spent almost 20 years in real estate and was a fashion blogger doing many events that took me to various boutiques all over a few cities. I was having the time of my life. I’d recently moved to…
They say the only things guaranteed in life are death and taxes. I’m lucky enough to add one more certainty to the list: lupus. Ironically, being certain about lupus only means being entirely uncertain about everything else in my life. When someone asks what my life will look…
Before I had lupus, anxiety and panic attacks were foreign to me. Since then I have learned to deal with these episodes by controlling my breathing and telling myself that the feeling is temporary. Most people have no idea how much your life changes when you…
Ever since I can remember, a little voice has been in the back of my head. It’s a voice that never failed to encourage me, motivate me, and reassure me that no matter the obstacle, I can always overcome it. But “the little voice that could” didn’t belong…
When the doctor told me I had lupus, the first question I asked him was if I was going to die. He responded that he would do his best to make sure that didn’t happen. I next wanted to know if there was a cure. He said there…
I’ve worn the same two pairs of black skinny jeans since the end of 2016. But over the last three months, I’ve noticed they don’t quite fit like they used to. They’re feeling much snugger than they once did. And that terrified me. I have to confess something…