Columns

The Misconceptions I Had About Remission

When the doctor told me I had lupus, the first question I asked him was if I was going to die. He responded that he would do his best to make sure that didn’t happen. I next wanted to know if there was a cure. He said there…

The Mirror Doesn’t Lie

I’ve worn the same two pairs of black skinny jeans since the end of 2016. But over the last three months, I’ve noticed they don’t quite fit like they used to. They’re feeling much snugger than they once did. And that terrified me. I have to confess something…

Lessons I Have Learned with Lupus

Lupus sucks. Anyone who is battling the disease will attest to that. Several months ago, I was asked what changes I would make in my life if I could go back in time. My response was “nothing.” Then came the next question: “You wouldn’t change that you have…

An Exercise in Defining Yourself Beyond Lupus

Try something with me. Find a piece of paper and take a moment to write up to five adjectives that you most identify with yourself. Once finished, continue reading. Look at the words you’ve written. Are you happy with how…

I’m in Lupus Remission but I Feel Incomplete

The past few months have been a disaster. Despite being a bona fide joy junkie, I’ve experienced new physical symptoms that have drained me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I rarely feel very low for a long period, but recently I was having such a difficult time that my…

Lupus Is My Third Child

When children are young, they love to drive you up the wall and seem to take particular pride in picking at one another. They put on their best-worst behavior for you on the morning your eyeliner is crooked, you’ve only rinsed out half of the shampoo, and you’re…

Thoughts of Dating

I go back and forth on the issue of dating. Sometimes I think it’s because even before I got sick, I was considered “intimidating” to many men. I have been told this for most of my adult life: They meet me, they find me attractive, we start talking,…

A Reflection on My Journey with Prednisolone

I remember the first time I was given the corticosteroid prednisolone to treat lupus. Within days, it became clear that the medication was working, but I’d already started to hate it. In retrospect, that was a foretelling sign of the long-term love-hate relationship we would share. The…

The Cost of Using Immunosuppressants

I remember when catching a cold felt only irritating; when it meant a couple of days off school with Mum forcing me to down foul cherry-flavored cough syrup and maybe some chicken noodle soup. Those were the easy days of cold and flu. I wish that would still be the case.