Once upon a time, I was an adventurous eater. I looked forward to visiting new restaurants and trying their signature dishes. Along with a great meal, a glass of red wine was a must. Lupus changed all that. I was a surf-and-turf kind of girl. I loved lobster, and I…
My partner, Jordan, has been in the hospital for several days to treat a flare-up of his ulcerative colitis. He is in the same hospital where I was diagnosed with lupus. The familiar smell of hand sanitizer sparks flashbacks to my time here in 2016. I remember what it…
At the end of 2015, my body was doing all kinds of strange things. I was caught in a revolving door at the hospital and seeing every specialist known to man. But no one could tell me what was wrong. On Jan. 1, 2016, I took a trip to Daytona…
If I could give one piece of advice to someone with a new diagnosis, it would be this: Lupus can be anything, but ultimately, it will be what you make it! Except for anxiety and depression, lupus is largely a physical illness. It causes a long list of symptoms,…
I didn’t understand what depression was until lupus. Before my diagnosis, I would feel a little down occasionally and allow myself three days of a pity party before I’d say, “OK, solutions.” I would find an answer to whatever was bothering me or stop worrying about it. That was the…
One thing I’ve noticed in the three years since my diagnosis is that people who don’t have ongoing health issues tend to pigeonhole those of us with chronic illnesses. But just as people’s experiences, tastes, and passions in life differ, so too do their illnesses, symptoms, medications, and side effects.
I liked to read and write as a kid. I journaled often and wrote as if no one would ever read my thoughts. Sometimes they did, but that never stopped me from speaking my truth. I was boldly honest about what I felt or thought. I debated whether I should…
I remember myself as more cohesive before diagnosis. It was easy to connect the dots when it came to my personality. While unbearable stubbornness has been a fundamental part of me since I was born, there weren’t nearly as many polar opposite sides of me as there are now.
When I first started exhibiting symptoms of lupus, I was so worn out that I stayed in my apartment for months. I’d moved to a new town and had no connections there, so I would sit on my balcony with my cellphone and talk to people on social media. What…
Before my lupus diagnosis, I don’t think I knew what it felt like to be powerful. I also never knew what it felt like to feel almost powerless. And that’s the funny thing about my life: To know how it feels to experience one extreme, I need to have…