I always believed I could understand the feelings of anxiety and depression that plague some of my loved ones, even though I never had experienced them. But in the weeks before my diagnosis, lupus gave me a small preview of what it’s like to have those two…
While the “rebellious phase” more often than not takes place in most people’s teenage years, I made it from the age of 13 all the way into my 20s without feeling the need to channel my inner rebel. Although I once believed that I just didn’t have…
When I was diagnosed with lupus, I hadn’t cut my hair for more than five years. It had grown so long that I almost could sit on it, and it was one of the things I truly loved most about my appearance. But six months into treatment,…
Being diagnosed with lupus made me aware that my body was self-destructive. Coming to terms with my illness was made harder because I couldn’t pinpoint a cause, and therefore had nothing to blame but my own body. When it comes to writing about my body, it often comes from…
One of the hardest parts of having lupus is how much of the unknown surrounds it. I’m not talking about just a lack of awareness among the wider population, although that is a problem. I’m speaking specifically of the fact that every day I live with a…
One thing I’ll always identify with lupus is a feeling that no amount of sleep is enough. Although I occasionally wake up feeling rested, for the most part, mornings are a gargantuan-size struggle before the day’s even begun. Of the year and a bit since my lupus diagnosis,…
As a single millennial, I live in the digital age of Tinder and unsubtle euphemisms. The phrase “Netflix and chill” can have many meanings, but for someone who lives with a chronic illness, like me, it tends to take a more literal form. Considering how significant the push…
I’m a very “black-and-white” kind of person, in that for the most part, I’m logical, rational, and straightforward. In my head, there are always set outcomes, and if you don’t arrive at one it can be only because you’ve landed on another instead. In many instances, this…
We’re so quick to applaud the positive. Happiness is a state we don’t just strive for ourselves but also celebrate and wish for others. But there’s a problem with placing such heavy emphasis and praise on our positive emotions, because from a young age it teaches us to…
In the darkness lies a wolf, the wolf that claims me as his own. I could call him “my wolf,” but that implies his presence is wanted, when it’s anything but. He’s present only in darkness: The loneliness of 3 a.m. when insomnia comes out to play;…