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How Lupus Influenced My Spiritual Shift

Lupus is an ugly diagnosis. It is one that comes with an unpredictable future. Some people get the medications and they are OK, others have a revolving door at the hospital, and some succumb. You just have no idea if it will affect you in ways that will…

When to Bring Lupus into the Dating Process

So, I signed up for Match.com. Why? Because I’m single and it’s presently what some call “cuffing season.” This is the time when people who spent the summer BBQ hopping and frolicking in fields of flings lock themselves down to one person. Some suggest this is in order to stay…

Redefining ‘Normal’

There are two distinct types of normal that exist in my life with lupus, and their distinctions are incredibly important. There is the type of normal that accompanied learning to live with lupus, which I would refer to as “lupus normal.” This includes fatigue, brain fog, and endless lifestyle…

Saving Spoons During the Holidays: 3 Tips

Fa la la la la ―I can’t believe the holidays are here again and another year has come and gone. Fall and winter are my favorite seasons, not only because of the cool crisp air, snowfall, holiday decorations and hot chocolate, but also because we can connect with friends…

The Conflict of Joy and Pain

I’ve felt, for the first time, what many would call writer’s block. I have had a conflict going on with the two most prevalent things in my life: the joy I push for and the pain I wish would go away. Lupus has brought a lot of things…

Facing My Mortality

Being diagnosed with a chronic illness means being opened up to an endless string of existential realizations. One of these is that your new state of being is not temporary, but likely will last for as long you live. It is…

When Everyone Thinks They Have a Cure

It was my umpteenth time in the ER for complications with lupus. My nurse was from the Caribbean (like many in this hospital in Flatbush, Brooklyn, New York), and he had a thick Jamaican accent. He came in to do a vitals check and asked if I’m chronically…

When Brain Fog Clouds Your Day

I knew I was supposed to be doing something important, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it was. For many of us who struggle with brain fog, this is a common scenario. But brain fog can go beyond just forgetting what you were supposed…

The Past, the Present and the Future

On Jan. 1, 2016, I went to Daytona Beach, Florida, reconciled my life, went home, wrote my last wishes and had them legalized, then called my family to tell them where to find the documents. It was the year of the tombstone. That’s what I jokingly started calling…

Social Media Images Can Lead to the Wrong Assumptions

Last June, I spent a month on the other side of the world holidaying in the European sun with my sister. In true millennial fashion, I couldn’t help but fill my friends’ Instagram feeds with a seemingly endless stream of photos of my adventures in foreign lands. And…