Columns

Mindful of My Mortality

When the doctor told me back in 2016 that I would be battling lupus, the first question I asked him was if I was going to die. In the ’80s, I had a cousin die of lupus. They had no clue what she had until they autopsied her…

Not Scared to Die

In my family, death is not a topic of taboo; we speak both incredibly openly and comfortably about the subject. By the time I was only 3 years old, my family had lost three of four grandparents, all to health-related issues. From a young age, my parents have…

When Your Chronic Illness and Sex Life Intertwine

I think learning how lupus can permeate every aspect of your life is one of the most frustrating and challenging aspects of dealing with the disease. Unfortunately, intimacy and our sex lives typically take a hit at some point. Maintaining a certain level of intimacy with your partner while…

That Crazy Thing Called Purpose

I woke up to no alarm and was confused. For some reason, I still have my alarm set despite not having a job that requires specific hours or a specific location during the week. I usually turn it off and ignore it if I want to go back to…

Making Moves when Movement Hurts

To this day, I don’t know how to braid hair. I missed this rite of passage in middle school, because while the girls in my class were doing each other’s hair in the bathroom, I was playing handball with the boys. Fast-forward to high school, where unlike many people I…

The Love of a Lifetime

I have friends who have been married for decades, then their kids leave home, and it’s almost like they are now living with a stranger they’ve known as their spouse for years. Relationships sour and sometimes they figure, “We’re old enough now to just stay married and stay…

A Cruel Waiting Game

My life is a waiting game, and a cruel one at that. The fact that my chronic illness has no cure means that I’ll spend my entire life in fear of flares, knowing they’re inevitable and that it’s only a matter of time. It doesn’t matter how good…

Throwing Spaghetti at the Wall

I was actively involved in real estate for 17 years. I started my career as a single mom going through a divorce while earning $7.50 an hour. I grew into a person with a stellar reputation, and who earned awards and a much higher income. When the doctor told…

Revalidation and a New Mindset

Today was an important day for me. Coming home from work, I found an envelope with my name on it. Inside was a letter from my university inviting me to join an honor society. Through my academic achievement, my mental capability is validated, and for the first time…