Columns

When People Say, ‘I Know. Me, Too,’ About Lupus Pain

I’ve noticed that lupus makes me super-sensitive to the things people say when I express how I feel. I sometimes feel caught in the middle, in the matrix. There are days when no matter what you say, no matter how hard you smile, people know something is wrong. You’re…

Playing the Game of Life with Lupus

When I was diagnosed with lupus, it was a bit like watching a game of Cluedo. With every new answer, I watched as the doctors kept straight faces, revealing nothing as I hoped wholeheartedly that the notes they were taking meant they were closing in on the…

Love Yourself in Spite of Lupus

I recently shared with someone that Kellie had “died” and no one had bothered to bury her. Of course, I didn’t really mean that; I was just having a serious pity party. I was in some major pain and needed someone to love me through my negativity. I…

How Lupus Can Turn the Oldest-sister Role on Its Head

There’s a certain responsibility that goes along with being the oldest sister. Simply due to birth order, I was automatically a role model for the younger two. (Editor’s note: The photo above shows Kristiana, center, with her sisters, Niki, left, and Nesha.) But the thing about always being looked…

The ‘Girlfriend Experience’ is Much Different Because of Lupus

The typical Girlfriend Experience should be one filled with flowers and dates. Meeting loved ones. Family and friends for the holidays. But, when dating a woman with lupus, the Girlfriend Experience is dramatically different. Being a single mom meant I wasn’t the easiest person to date before my symptoms…

Staying Positive Creates Silver Linings

I’m a bit of a weirdo. There, I said it. I admit it. As an affirmation junkie, I am all about positive self-talk. I am always looking toward the positive side of life. There is a silver lining even in my diagnosis of lupus. Because of my outlook,…

Why I Refuse to Believe My Lupus is a ‘Lesson’

There are many things I believe wholeheartedly. I believe that if you send out good energy, that at the right time, it will come full circle and be repaid to you. I believe that in every moment I hold my life in my own hands, and although I’m…