Being calm doesn’t come naturally to me. With a mind that’s constantly racing, there’s rarely a moment when I’m not deep in thought about one thing or another. My life is chaotic. From a need to overfill my waking hours with the things I love most to the…
I believe that everything happens for a reason. Even the bad stuff has a purpose. Don’t ask me what it is, but I know that none of us are getting out of life alive and none of us are getting out unscathed. Before I got lupus, I was…
No one grows up dreaming of falling in love with somebody who’s sick, and for good reason. Chronic illnesses are tiresome and unfair; they’re endless mountains of hard work and uncertainty followed by the type of surprise add-ons no one wants. And if you’re lucky enough to…
When I was diagnosed with lupus, I debated about keeping the situation to myself. I never really thought of myself as an advocate for lupus. At that time, I had just moved to a new city where I didn’t know anyone and had taken a new job.
Lupus really does a number on a person, both mentally and physically. When many of us learned we have this incurable disease, for some strange reason, we began feeling guilty. Either because we worry about loved ones, are unable to do something we were able to do in…
Two types of evil have existed throughout my life: lupus and guilt. They both have black souls and hold the power to destroy me in different ways. I regularly make deals with each of them, but nothing is ever an easy or uncomplicated choice; to make a deal…
Some days it hurts to breathe and a cough can become scary. I’ve learned that a cough is not usually a sign that I have a cold, but that my lungs have become inflamed. When this happens, a hearty laugh or a deep breath can send me…
Immunosupressants are simultaneously the very best and worst things for my health. These magic medications have played a large part in making sure lupus has been so unsuccessful in its mission to take hold of my kidneys. But they also caused me to be sick for a…
I find it interesting what some folks do to alleviate stress, to decompress and have a little fun, things sometimes I only wish I had the patience for. Adult coloring is one of those things that comes to mind. I have seen some really beautiful creations and a…
Almost daily there is a report inside one of my support groups that someone has received their butterfly wings – a term I use when someone has passed away from lupus. This happens more often than I would like to discuss. I am often bothered that their deaths are…