Author Archives: Kristiana Page

Feeling Guilty Because of Lupus

When I used to hear of somebody being diagnosed with an illness my mind would wander straight to pity and sadness. I would just assume they felt sorrow. After being diagnosed with lupus I didn’t know what to expect, but I can tell you for certain that…

Why I Am Scared to Love With Lupus

It’s never easy to break down barriers, to let someone in to the point where they have the ability to break you on a whim. But that’s exactly what love is. And it scares the hell out of me, as it means I’m making myself vulnerable on a whole…

An Encounter with My Lupus, Personified

Upon meeting, I’d probably smile politely and shake your hand. Not that I’d want to, but because my parents brought me up the right way and, no matter how much hate I have for you, basic respect is not optional. There are so many questions and statements that…

Terrified by My First Bout with Brain Fog

Sitting in my very first philosophy lecture, as our guest speaker was introducing his slides on Hinduism, I was the recipient of another type of first — my inaugural bout of brain fog. At the time I was so confused and upset, trying to type out lecture…

The Paradox of Pride and Lupus

If I had to identify with one of the Seven Deadly Sins I would choose pride without hesitation. I always have been stubbornly proud, and it’s hasn’t always been a hindrance. But there are times, especially now, that I need to be able to put it aside.

Knowing I’ll Live a Life of Consequence

I’ve never been much of a rule breaker, but I’ve always loved to push the boundaries in the most positive ways. In 21 years things haven’t changed all that much, except that now I play by lupus’ rules and, regardless of the fact I’ll forever be facing consequences,…

Optimism and Holiday Thanks

This year, in many ways, lupus has been the gift that just kept taking. But no matter how heartbroken I’ve felt in a single moment, I’ve put in the effort to find a silver lining to every single gray cloud that came my way. I’m not sure…