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Selfish is almost a dirty word to me. When selfish is used to describe someone, it’s usually with distaste, and I’ve long considered it a terrible quality to possess. But of late, my tune has started to change. I’ve realized that to be selfish doesn’t necessarily mean…

When a long-term relationship ends, I usually take a year or two to understand the new me because, let’s face it, we change. My last serious relationship ended in 2010. After a while, I got caught up in all the wonderful things that were happening in my…

I’m a lot of things: Hard-headed, intensely determined, logical and deeply reflective, to name just a few. And while these character traits often are considered to be qualities, they can be perceived just as easily as flaws. The one thing all of these traits have in common?…

Nobody asks to be sick, and no one asks for constant pain. Living with chronic pain is not a life anyone would set out to have for themselves. As we go through our lives, we ask for more money, a better job, good things for our families,…

Good health too often is thought of solely in the physical form. In this society, we put so much emphasis on the state of our bodies, yet neglect to pay attention to the state of our minds. Truthfully, I never used to give much thought to the…

Two years ago the Paleo Diet was the diet everyone was talking about. I remember going to a New Years Eve party and they served paleo chili with cauliflower. It may sound very Californian, but it was honestly the best chili I ever had. I remember…

I’ve noticed that lupus makes me super-sensitive to the things people say when I express how I feel. I sometimes feel caught in the middle, in the matrix. There are days when no matter what you say, no matter how hard you smile, people know something is wrong. You’re…

When I was diagnosed with lupus, it was a bit like watching a game of Cluedo. With every new answer, I watched as the doctors kept straight faces, revealing nothing as I hoped wholeheartedly that the notes they were taking meant they were closing in on the…

I recently shared with someone that Kellie had “died” and no one had bothered to bury her. Of course, I didn’t really mean that; I was just having a serious pity party. I was in some major pain and needed someone to love me through my negativity. I…

There’s a certain responsibility that goes along with being the oldest sister. Simply due to birth order, I was automatically a role model for the younger two. (Editor’s note: The photo above shows Kristiana, center, with her sisters, Niki, left, and Nesha.) But the thing about always being looked…