Columns

Living in Shades of Gray

I’m a very “black-and-white” kind of person, in that for the most part, I’m logical, rational, and straightforward. In my head, there are always set outcomes, and if you don’t arrive at one it can be only because you’ve landed on another instead. In many instances, this…

Time to Take Lupus Back to Work

Six years ago, I was handed an answer of lupus along with a bag of questions that came with it. Life already was hard before my diagnosis, as a working single mother of two boys. Knowing I had lupus didn’t make it any easier. I rocked my…

We Still Want to Be Pretty

Most people take for granted getting ready for each day. It takes a lot of energy to get up in the morning, shower, get dressed, do your hair, and put on makeup. Recently I have been having issues with my arms. I must assist one hand in…

The Importance of Accepting All Emotions

We’re so quick to applaud the positive. Happiness is a state we don’t just strive for ourselves but also celebrate and wish for others. But there’s a problem with placing such heavy emphasis and praise on our positive emotions, because from a young age it teaches us to…

No Comfort from the Comforter

When you get the news that your health will forever be in the toilet, I can assure you that you have to deal with more than just the diagnosis. You find yourself working emotionally, spiritually and physically within new confines. At any given time in our lives,…

Using Light to Fight Lupus the Wolf

In the darkness lies a wolf, the wolf that claims me as his own. I could call him “my wolf,” but that implies  his presence is wanted, when it’s anything but. He’s present only in darkness: The loneliness of 3 a.m. when insomnia comes out to play;…

The Cruel Process of Endless Processing

You knew something wasn’t right, but it seems to have taken doctors forever to render a diagnosis. When they did, it was not what any of us wanted to hear. You have an incurable disease. It is going to occasionally grab you by the ankle, flip you…

The Price of Being Completely Understood

As humans we long to have someone relate to what we’re going through, to be accepted and understood. For a very long time I didn’t have to work very hard to achieve this feeling. Nowadays, it’s something I want desperately, but I know that to have it…

Finding Good Support Is Essential

Lupus stinks! It consumes your life. It takes over so many aspects of your life. I can tell you that when I initially got my diagnosis, I really thought I could deal with it on my own. How bad could it be to deal with being sick?…

The Next Step in the Grieving Process: Healing

My diagnosis of lupus was a lot of things. It was a shock to the entire system. It was an introduction to a new world that was completely unknown to me. It was the catalyst to the greatest internal struggle I’ve ever experienced. But more than anything else,…