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Just Breathe: Trying to Calm the Chaos in My Brain

I used to be a neat, organized person. Being diagnosed with lupus, however, turned my world upside down. I was bombarded with new words, new medications, and new doctors. Suddenly, I had to have a dozen different tests for things I had never heard of before. And somehow, the…

I Constantly Live in Fear of a New Lupus Flare

Living with lupus makes me feel a little precarious. I can’t fully enjoy the little victories in my health due to the fear that they’ll immediately be followed by a downhill slide. Last year was a doozy: For most of the year, I seemed to move endlessly from one…

How I Found Gratitude in Spite of Multiple Illnesses

When your list of chronic illnesses keeps getting longer, it’s hard to find things to be grateful for. It is so easy to sink into a deep depression and think that you will never be happy again. These kinds of thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Slowly but surely, I…

Replacing the Rug, One Piece at a Time

After three years, some things are finally leveling out for me. When I was diagnosed with lupus three years ago, I really felt that the entire rug had been pulled out from under my life. In fact, it had. When you are told your body has turned against you and…

Finding Ways to Make Sleep Come More Easily

My doctor sent me for a sleep study after my husband told him how loudly I snored. I tried to tell them that it wasn’t that bad, but as it turned out, it was. The night of the study, they put a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine…

On the To-do List: How to Cope When You Have Brain Fog

Lupus ‘brain fog’ is aptly named When I am tired or under a lot of stress, my brain gets foggy. The official name for this is cognitive dysfunction, but it’s commonly referred to as brain fog because it’s like trying to find your way in a dark, dense…

What I Must Do When I’m Angry

Lupus sucks. Let’s just acknowledge that from the onset. I was living an awesome life, and then it came to a screeching halt. Lupus was pretty aggressive with me. Almost immediately, I felt anxiety and confusion, and eventually, anger. These are signs of depression, but I didn’t know that at…