Being Positive Isn’t Always Easy

Kellie McRae avatar

by Kellie McRae |

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normalcy, adversity

Many of us grew up with nicknames. Later, working in the real estate industry, it was common for people to adopt nicknames that helped promote their businesses. Because I never stopped working, one day my broker called me a “Hurricane in Heels,” and from that day forward, in the office I ceased to be Kellie and became Hurricane.

Since I started battling lupus, I have often teased that I have been downgraded to a tropical storm. But I do my absolute best to be as positive as possible. I tell people that I can find a silver lining in lead. One of my friends started calling me “Queen Bubbly Bee” and the name stuck. Being this optimistic actually takes work. I worry, I get angry, I get sad, and I am battling depression, yet I’m “Queen Bubbly Bee,” the self-proclaimed “Joy Junkie.”

I wake up most mornings in pain, and I offer gratitude to the universe for so many things. For the month of June, I have started a little Facebook campaign called “30 Days of Gratitude.” Each day, I share something I am grateful for, but the pain is always there, and the sadness and the anger lurk beneath the surface.

Some days I just sit and cry, allowing the sadness to overtake me. I use colorful language, and while most of it is humorous, it serves as an outlet for my anger. When things go wrong, I like to meditate and visualize my desired outcome, but first I freak out and get upset.

I have to remind myself to decide which direction I want things to go, and then I am able to refocus my attention toward the goal. I believe this is what has helped me at least get to remission numbers with my bloodwork. My body is still angry, but my blood is at least happy. I will count that as a win, as I have been chasing remission since I was told I have lupus.

What appears to come easy for me is a struggle. What we focus on has power, so I try to focus on my preferred outcomes. Once I get past the moment, I tell myself: “If you think about this in the negative, it’s going to be toxic to your body. If you think about it in the positive, it’s going to have a more positive effect on your body.”

During these stressful times, I have an increased level of pain, which is why I do my best to truly keep my world as positive as possible.

Stress is a trigger, and it’s usually what lands me in the hospital, so I try to keep it at bay. Being positive, visualizing a desired outcome when things look to be the polar opposite, and smiling when my body is in so much pain that it feels like my bones have liquefied is not at all easy, but I guess when you are well practiced, it sure looks that way to others. I hope others can emulate this attitude and have a truly wonderful day.


Note: Lupus News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Lupus News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to lupus.


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