As I stood across from him at the train station, his eyes sparkled at me. It was our first date that wasn’t really a date. We talk about it now and laugh. Both of us admit to secretly wanting it to be something official and special. But neither of…
Lying on the couch, exhausted, and face down in a slump: That’s my most lasting memory from the days just before my diagnosis. I remember lying there with only enough energy to turn my head to let my eyes wander. As I scanned the living room, my mind began to…
Lying in bed, congested, and surrounded by a mountain of tissues and toilet paper: That’s how I spent the better part of two weeks. It’s happened enough times now that I should be able to identify patterns and see it coming, but I don’t. Every time, it creeps up on…
It’s hard to be mortal and reminded of your mortality. It’s one thing to know there’s an ending to this thing we call life and to let the thought pass through your mind. But it’s an entirely different thing to sit with that notion and let it bear its…
Third in a series. Read parts one and two. It’s been almost seven years since I was diagnosed with lupus. During that time, I’ve known many evolutions of myself, and each version of Kristiana has held a different outlook on love and life. We began…
Second in a series. Read part one. It was June 2016, and I remember unlocking my phone, opening up the Tinder dating app, and staring at the screen. Where to begin? Recently diagnosed with a chronic illness, I didn’t even know how to approach bringing someone new into…
First in a three-part series. Lupus, love, and I have always shared a complicated relationship, as my diagnosis came not long after my first real breakup. In the chaos of having my heart broken, I poured every ounce of my strength into putting on a brave face for…
In the six months that followed my lupus diagnosis six years ago, only a few moments aren’t clouded by a haze. Everyone responds differently when their life is altered beyond repair, but I went into shock. If a genie had offered me a single wish, I would’ve asked…
In February 2021, I penned a farewell column for Lupus News Today that I wholeheartedly believed would be my last. Writing something that felt so final prompted many emotions. In between my first “hello” and what I thought was my last “adieu,” there were a hundred self-evolutions. The…
I’ve been procrastinating writing this column for a couple of days now. Partly because my heart doesn’t want to, and partly because I don’t know how to begin to say goodbye. As I pen my final farewell, I’m feeling emotional. But given how many nights I’ve spent teary-eyed, pouring…