Columns

I Am Slowly Shifting My Mindset

Sometimes, I forget that I have lupus. Is that weird? I have spent so much time pushing my body and telling myself that many of the things I can no longer do are because I am not trying hard enough. Then I landed in the hospital followed by a…

I’ve Decided to Face Forward with a New Outlook

It’s been an interesting couple of months. I have learned, endured, and accepted (I hope) a lot. I am always doing checks and balances with my mental health, working to find joy on difficult days, being grateful for another day, and looking for opportunity amid my adversity. Following my…

My Spirit Is Broken on My Road to Recovery

I was lulled into thinking that I could give American healthcare another chance. I had a 14-day stay at the James A. Haley Veterans’ Hospital in Tampa, Florida, where I was treated like a VIP. I heard about the culture shift throughout the hospital, and I felt it through…

While I Am Napping Time Is Passing Me By

No matter what happens, the world keeps turning. It doesn’t stop for moments of happiness or moments of heartache. Sometimes I wish it would come to a halt. Not for too long. Just to give me enough time to wipe my tears and take that deep breath necessary to pull…

Where Are the Manuals for Life?

People tease about how there are no manuals for rearing kids. Well, there is no manual on how to navigate an illness like lupus, either. Everyone is simply winging it and hoping they are making the right decisions. It seems lupus is always delivering something new, with no instructions…

Throwing Myself off the Edge with Lupus

Lupus is my greatest motivator and most consistent catalyst for change. Its ability to uproot my life at any time has the potential to be devastating. But with the knowledge that all aspects of my life are temporary comes the courage to live in the moment. I’ve had four trips…

When Healthcare Professionals Truly Care

A routine visit with my primary care doctor turned into the biggest reality check of my life. It led to a two-week hospital stay followed by a move to a 24-hour rehabilitation center where my weak immune system required full isolation. Life seems to build up armor before the battle.

Goal Setting Is Different with Lupus, and That’s OK

I write this in the middle of nowhere, sitting in a camp chair next to a mountain. Over a year ago, my partner, Jordan, and I set out plans to tour the southern Australian state of Tasmania. And last Monday, hours of planning and months of preparation finally came…

Staying Sane Through the Insanity

I sit here on day 11 of my first hospital stay of 2020. I’ve learned that pharmaceutical companies test how wide your esophagus will open to accommodate pills that would make a horse gag. I am doing all I can to remain sane, but few things make you lose track…

I’m Living on Borrowed Time, but I’m Still Here

Lupus often takes years to diagnose. By the time doctors work it out, the disease has usually been active in the body for long enough to cause significant and sometimes irreparable damage. At the time of my diagnosis four years ago, I was an unusual and lucky case. Though…