I remember the first day I was fully aware of my now chronic fatigue. But it would take a week or so after that for me to give it an official name. It’d been creeping up slowly. For two weeks, I’d been growing increasingly tired, until finally, I felt…
Something gets to me when I see a chronic illness depicted on screen. In particular, a character getting a lupus diagnosis tugs at a special place in my heart. I’ve watched characters get diagnosed with lupus on the sitcom “Scrubs,” for instance. And then there was an episode…
When I hear the term “self-care,” I envision sitting in a bubble bath with candles all around me, my hair tied up in a lopsided, messy bun, while lo-fi beats play in the background. It’s a glorious image, but entirely fictional. Firstly, because I hate baths. There’s something about sitting…
Sometimes I catch my partner, Felix, looking at me. He still looks at me the same way he did on our first date. His eyes shine as he dreamily gazes at me in a daze. When I catch him doing this, I just have to know what’s running through…
In late 2016, I was lost, lonely, and desperate for life to be different. In the wake of a lupus diagnosis, I’d never felt more alone or misunderstood. The life I’d long imagined had disintegrated into thin air the moment I was introduced to the word “lupus.”…
Sometimes I feel like the universe has a scale with my name on it. If the needle ventures past a certain level of good, it gives me a dose of not-so-good to balance me out. In January, I experienced an unusual amount of smooth sailing, so it was only fitting…
I remember when I was diagnosed with lupus. It felt like the world was somehow spinning too fast and too slow at the same time. On one hand, I seemed to be under constant fire from all angles. The fatigue was overwhelming. Adjusting to life while learning to…
When I was diagnosed with lupus seven years ago, I wanted nothing more than to be in remission. But I longed for it knowing that it would likely ebb and flow. I believed I would spend a significant portion of my life chasing it, and once I achieved…
There was a time when all I wanted for my health was to be in remission. In my mind, getting to say the word out loud and lay claim to it was the pinnacle of success. The ultimate act of defiance. It didn’t matter to me how long it…
When I was a teenager, there was no question about whether I wanted children. I did, and I wanted three. Even as a teen, I remember picturing little kids with half my features and a mix of my best and worst personality traits, each mini-me with my dad’s determination,…