Right and wrong ways to navigate a patient-doctor relationship
A columnist considers the rules of engagement, both written and unspoken
Like any relationship, a patient-doctor one has rules about how to engage and communicate. They’re typically in writing, bearing the patient’s signature of agreement. I’ve seen the rules posted on walls as the U.S. Patient Bill of Rights and Responsibilities, but there are also unspoken rules around trust and admiration.
When you’ve spent years with your doctors, especially those who’ve helped you through flare-ups and crises, your relationship tends to be enhanced. How you view and respect them changes. You may even come to love them.
Organizations like the Lupus Foundation of America and the Hospital for Special Surgery (HSS) provide guidance and tips for navigating patient-doctor relationships. The former also offers a dialogue tool for lupus patients and their doctors.
According to HSS, a patient’s responsibilities include:
- “Share your feelings honestly”
- “Respect doctors, their concerns, their time, and the pressures in their lives”
- “Let the doctor know who you are as a person”
- “Accept your important role in the partnership”
- “Have knowledge of your health and be an informed consumer of medical care”
- “Maintain an up-to-date, detailed time chart, including all pertinent information regarding your healthcare.”
As I read suggestions from support-group threads about patient-doctor relationships, the topic of right and wrong came to mind — along with the sound of R&B artist Keith Sweat crooning, “There’s a right and a wrong way to love somebody.” (Music and headaches cue at random since I discovered I have encephalomalacia, the softening of brain tissue.)
Following through on your responsibilities as a patient is the “right” way to love your doctor. Of course, I use the term “love” loosely.
One of the obvious wrong ways to love your doctor is to have intimate relations with them. This violates American Medical Association policy and is considered unethical.
The following, in my opinion, are also wrong ways to love your doctor:
- Trusting that they know more about your body than you do. They may know more about specific diseases like lupus, Sjögren’s syndrome, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriatic arthritis, or Hashimoto’s disease. But you know best how a condition affects you daily.
- Not speaking up about changes to your body or in how you respond to medications.
- Not advocating for another test or scan, or not asking your doctor about a trend you’ve noticed in your test results.
- Not wanting to bother your doctor, so instead of sending a message with details and photos of your symptoms, you wait it out until the next visit.
Considering all we must do and keep in mind while living with a chronic condition, it’s important to maintain healthy relationships with doctors and caregivers. For some, this may be a challenge. For others, these relationships are celebrated and come easily.
Note: Lupus News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Lupus News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to lupus.
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