Putting my body on a performance improvement plan
It's that time of year to ask the question: How am I doing at living my life?
As one year ends and another begins, many employers give job performance evaluations. That’s when, according to the Society for Human Resource Management, they or their supervisors commend workers for the impact they’ve made on the company and any recognizable or measurable outcomes they’ve helped produce. It’s also when employers put on record any of the worker’s shortcomings or failures. For independent contractors, this evaluation moment is similar to Airbnb reviews, where guests rate the host and accommodations.
In both situations, job performance matters.
Life coaches and empowerment leaders often suggest that we do a similar evaluation of our lives and honestly review how we’ve performed professionally, physically, socially, and spiritually. With that comes the question: How have I experienced life over this span of time?
The question of how I’ve lived my life seems to surface and demand an answer during my lupus flares — especially violent flares that lead to hospitalization. Have I lived my life with purpose? Have I enjoyed the life I’ve lived? Why didn’t I do this or that when I had the ability and strength to do it? How can I get this or that done immediately after I recover? Have the things I’ve done given value to me or others? Is there anything of my life or about my life that shows others that I’m here, or that I’ve been here? Have I showed up and contributed to my life or did I just open my eyes and wait for lupus, a systemic autoimmune condition that attacks organs, to temper its scorn?
In short, I was asking how well I was performing at my main job — my life. How well was (and am) I executing the tasks of living?
Time for performance improvement
I know. No, it’s not fair to ask ourselves these questions during the height of medical crises or what feel like near-death experiences. It’s also not fair to never ask yourself these questions. As a person living with rare diseases, chronic nonpreventable health challenges, or limited abilities, the question of “what good is this life?” creeps into mind more often than we care to admit. It’s a dishonor not to answer the questions affirmatively and bravely.
As I consider my answers, I acknowledge that I have days when I’m making few contributions to this “Job of Living,” and I’ve only now begun to wake up. My mind and desires may have been on task and performing life’s duties, but my body was dragging and trapped hosting disease.
If my body contributed to the Job of Living, it was limited to completing and surviving the day’s tasks and soaking in only essential oils and hot water. While I strategically planned to execute the Job of Living, my body could quickly lock or swell in pain and scrap those plans. I (the worker at this job) take issue with my body’s performance and complain to all my supervisors: God and all the specialists, including my rheumatologist, neurologist, primary care physician, optometrist, dentist, and endocrinologist.
Obediently, I follow their guidance, submit to more tests, adjust medicines, try new therapies, and get more rest, only for my body to underperform.
And when there’s underperformance, the staff member is reprimanded or relieved from duties. Because I choose to excel in the Job of Living, I’m calling my body into the CEO’s office to address this job’s expectations.
Beyond the obvious requirement that the body has to absorb nutrients that strengthen and heal, the body is also responsible for holding light, hope, and love as priorities and using them as weapons to lessen or destroy agents of fear or distress. The body is expected to be in motion, not chronically sedentary and not closed away from sunlight or social “convenings.” The body is required to rest and hydrate fully for optimal response to dis-ease. Since my diagnosis of systemic lupus erythematosus, my body has treaded the line between unsatisfactory job performance and grounds for termination.
Be reminded that this column recently established an executive order for people living with lupus. Now I’m also placing my body on a performance improvement plan.
To correct its performance, my body must complete the following activities while participating in and completing other “real world” duties, including parenting, spousing, working, and housekeeping:
- 30-minute movement, meditation, music, and moments to show gratitude, at least twice a day
- hourly belly breaths
- slowly savoring the taste of meals
- daily detox of toxic news, replaced with tea and a printed word game (so no screens are used)
- nightly stretches to release fears, stressors, and tension
- weekly check-ins with therapeutic allies for laughter and silliness
- biweekly bookkeeping to celebrate provision
- monthly reporting on the moments when life became alive.
Our goal with this plan is that our body improve its performance as we become more alive in the Job of Living.
Note: Lupus News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Lupus News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to lupus.
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