I Reject the Mantra that ‘Pain Is Weakness Leaving the Body’

It’s printed on T-shirts. It’s something we teach little boys when they fall and get the first scrape that brings tears to their eyes. It’s certainly something you learn if you join the military. I’m referring to the saying, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” Well, I must have the weakest little body ever because pain is always present, and if I subscribe to this theory, my body is continually doing its best to eliminate weakness.

This saying has been on my mind a lot lately. I left the military with medical issues, and for years, I sucked it up. I didn’t complain. I dismissed my body because I had learned that to think of pain as a sign of weakness. I believe now that this is the dumbest saying ever! It encourages us to make excuses not to take care of ourselves. If we complain, we are weak and unable to compete, and then we are set aside. Women are considered dramatic if we attend the doctor often, leaving a stigma that we are not only weak but mentally incapable of dealing with life as well. Men, in particular, are taught this from a very young age.

I am guilty of teaching this to my son. I recall telling him when he was a kid, that if it isn’t bleeding or falling off, you will be fine. Then I would add, if it’s falling off because you did something silly, we won’t go to the doctor, I’ll just get the duct tape. If you took a poll, I think you would find that men do not visit the doctor as frequently as women do, even when they have pain. While lupus affects women at a higher rate, men also get lupus. I believe there are many men out there who are undiagnosed, but they haven’t consulted a doctor about their symptoms.

We equate joint pain with age and digestive problems as merely a sensitive stomach or something we ate. We associate fatigue with being too busy. These are symptoms of lupus. Instead of going to the doctor, we self-diagnose. And even when we receive a diagnosis, we still fight our bodies to keep pushing as hard as before because we don’t want to be perceived as weak.

Pain is not weakness leaving the body; it’s a signal that something is wrong in the body. The only time this saying is not insane is if you have been working out at the gym and you have “normal” muscle soreness. Sadly, many of us have taken this saying from a T-shirt and made it a mantra for any type of pain.

By dismissing your pain, you are blatantly disregarding your health and well-being. If you have unexplained pain, your body is signaling to you to pay attention. Chronic pain should not be ignored or equated with being weak; we should not be ashamed that we experience pain. Lupus has had me curled up in a ball in the ER on more occasions than I care to speak about, has had me lying in bed barely able to move in tears and sometimes, it has hurt to cry. But I need to remember that pain and express my rejection of the view that it is the same as being weak. To admit that there is something wrong and to seek help are signs of strength. Learn to listen to your body; it wants to be happy and healthy. If you ignore its signals and make excuses you are not making things better; you are allowing the problem to continue unchecked which could cause it to worsen. Pain is your body saying “Hey! Something is wrong.” It has nothing to do with being weak.

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