Knowing when and how to fill your cup with self-nurturing

We’ve heard it said that “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” It’s a reminder to “fill” ourselves before we “pour out” for someone else.

Pouring out is an action we do to improve someone else’s life. That improvement could be momentary or it could affect them for a lifetime. The action might range from sending a thoughtful text, regularly checking in via video chat, or sharing Wordle scores, to helping complete a job application, cooking meals, or being present during one of life’s most difficult times. All of these are examples of pouring oneself from the cup that is yourself.

The recipient of this pouring out determines how full they are, and we determine how empty our cup becomes. And yes, even if pouring out brings you joy, your cup is still emptying and needs refilling.

Recommended Reading

March 17, 2017 by Kristiana Page

Mental Health and Lupus: It’s Okay Not to be Okay

That refilling process is what we should closely explore. When living with chronic heath conditions, including not-yet-curable diseases like systemic lupus erythematosus, it matters how we fill our cups and keep them full. It matters both for us and the people we consistently pour into.

I’ve found that the closer my cup gets to empty, the more susceptible I am to flare triggers, whether due to exhaustion, lack of nutrition and sunlight, or consuming toxic foods. And since there aren’t consistent or reliable trigger alerts (cue a blaring alarm), it’s easy to find myself holding an empty cup while bracing for a flare.

For me, the cup’s emptiness and the burnout that comes from the pouring can trigger physical symptoms. Oftentimes, by the time there is an outward appearance of lupus, my body has already taken a pretty substantial internal beating.

So what can be done? If you’re like me, you probably already know the truth. You’ve likely seen a pattern in the disease-management process. You can probably name two or even three actions to take when you feel a flare brewing. You might have a quiet gauge that says, “OK, let’s slow this down and be calm the rest of the day. It’s time for a smoothie or a soothing bath. Let’s stretch or listen to an audiobook. Is it time to taper up meds? What about a gentle self-massage?”

Let your own knowledge help you. Trust the internal guidance and do the things that bring some relief. These things will fill your cup and nurture you to better health.

How do you fill your cup? Please share in the comments below. 

Note: Lupus News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Lupus News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to lupus.