How to mitigate the sense of failure that can arise during a lupus flare
When disease activity increases, it's easy to make self-accusations
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Failure often makes you reflect on the things you didn’t see earlier. When you miss the mark, you tend to consider what caused the misstep and what steps you could have taken to avoid it. Success doesn’t demand the same kind of reflection, although doing so can help you maintain your winning streak.
In life with chronic pain and a disease like lupus, a winning streak may look like a period of dormant symptoms. Increased disease activity, uncontrolled symptoms, and continuous flares can usher in an overwhelming sense of failure. At first, it may be barely noticeable and can be managed like any other emotion. Unfortunately, this feeling of failure tends to increase as the flare continues.
Questions and self-accusations may arise: What did I do to trigger this? When were the first symptoms and why didn’t I notice them? How long has it been since I had relief? Did I miss a dose or infusion? What did I do last time to soothe or end a flare, and can I do it now? Did I rest enough? Move too much? Was someone nearby with a cold or flu? Did I eat or drink the wrong thing? How long am I going to keep suffering? Is it time to call the doctor, go to the emergency room, or both? How will I describe this pain? Have I tried everything I can to relieve this?
The questions continue. But they are not useful until we reflect on what we may have missed leading up to the flare. The answers will guide how we manage it.
This is why keeping notes, tracking symptoms, and journaling are helpful. The calendar app on your smartphone is one of the best tools for logging symptoms, as it’s free and simple to use, and you likely always have your phone nearby. So open your calendar, select the current day and hour, note how your body feels, where pain is and isn’t, whether you’re fasting or have eaten a meal, whether you’ve taken medication, and your emotions in this moment. Note anything worth celebrating.
When symptoms worsen, you will have a way to backtrack and identify patterns you didn’t recognize earlier. This will mitigate the feeling of failure, especially since you know you’ve managed your health daily. Yes, every single day. Because if you aren’t paying attention to your body, who is? If it’s not you, we may need to have a talk, my friend.
Note: Lupus News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Lupus News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to lupus.
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