My Experience Is Better When Doctors Discuss My Concerns with Me

My Experience Is Better When Doctors Discuss My Concerns with Me

I don’t trust doctors easily. The team of specialists at my nephrology unit who have overseen my treatment for the past three years are the only medical professionals I have absolute faith in. I have confidence in them because when I attend an appointment to discuss my illness, test results, and treatment, they don’t speak about me as if I’m not there, they talk with me. It’s such a little thing that’s so important to me.

It’s easy for doctors to focus solely on my illness and forget that there’s a living, breathing human attached to it. In some ways, I get it: Lupus is a complex disease. I ask questions they can’t answer. But as a patient, it hurts to feel as if I’m forgotten.

I can feel lost in the hurricane of destruction and complications that is lupus. I’m often overshadowed by my chronic illness and the havoc that it wreaks.

When a doctor acknowledges my concerns and makes an effort to discuss things with me, instead of talking at me, it makes all the difference in my experience. Too often, I visit a general practitioner and walk out feeling as if I haven’t been heard. I frequently leave the clinic feeling frustrated and knowing that I’ll be back in a week with the same problem.

I’m not asking for a doctor to take me at my word and assume that I’m right. All I want is to be allowed to explain my issues and express my concerns without being ignored or treated with condescension. I realize that I don’t have medical training or experience with diagnosing diseases and prescribing medications. But I do have three years of living up close and personal with my chronic illness. And I think that ought to count for something.

Truthfully, I hate attending doctor’s appointments. I’m tired of staring at clocks in the waiting room wondering when I’ll finally be seen. I’m sick of raising concerns about specific antibiotics that have caused adverse side effects and being prescribed them anyway. I’m angry that I pay an exorbitant amount for 10 minutes of a doctor’s time only to have them dismiss what I have to say.

Worst of all, the moment I walk out I know I’ll have to return the following week. And I can only cross my fingers, hoping that they’ll listen the next time around.

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Note: Lupus News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Lupus News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to lupus.

Kristiana “Kristi” Page is a surfer, barista and university student studying an Arts/Science Degree in Philosophy/Mathematical Modelling. Living on the picturesque Bellarine Peninsula on the South-East coast of Australia, she’s deeply passionate about salt water in all forms, amazing coffee – even though she’s not allowed to drink it – and above all else traveling the world: one country at a time! Diagnosed with Stage IV: Lupus Nephritis at 20, she’s determined to not be defined by her auto-immune condition. Using writing as a medium for self-expression she hopes to share her life and journey to both raise awareness and support others in similar situations! A big believer in the concept of dialectics, she loves to share her usually unorthodox – and sometimes controversial – views with the world; and in turn have others share theirs with her. Quirky by choice, inquisitive by nature and above all else: smiling, always!
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Kristiana “Kristi” Page is a surfer, barista and university student studying an Arts/Science Degree in Philosophy/Mathematical Modelling. Living on the picturesque Bellarine Peninsula on the South-East coast of Australia, she’s deeply passionate about salt water in all forms, amazing coffee – even though she’s not allowed to drink it – and above all else traveling the world: one country at a time! Diagnosed with Stage IV: Lupus Nephritis at 20, she’s determined to not be defined by her auto-immune condition. Using writing as a medium for self-expression she hopes to share her life and journey to both raise awareness and support others in similar situations! A big believer in the concept of dialectics, she loves to share her usually unorthodox – and sometimes controversial – views with the world; and in turn have others share theirs with her. Quirky by choice, inquisitive by nature and above all else: smiling, always!

2 comments

  1. Robbie Neese says:

    I was told that I had Lupus after the doctor found blood clot on my lungs and one on my heart. This was after I had surgery on my knee. I am 67 years old, so how can that be for me to have Lupus at my age.

  2. Penelope-Mary Angus says:

    Hello Kristi, I have to write to say how timely this piece about doctors talking at not with you, is. Thank you for your eloquence;I feel a tiny bit stronger.
    I live on the other side of the bay…waving right at you now!
    Penelope

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